Welcoming Elise

I was 39 weeks when Elise decided to make her entrance into the world. It was thursday night, July 9, I had come home from a tiring day at the office and changed into my comfy clothes. I was wearing my favorite grey sweat pants - a maternity hand-me-down from my sister in law.

Around 7pm., Mike and I decided to go for a walk since it was a nice July evening. Our first stop was Dairy Queen where I indulged in a huge peanut butter chocolate blizzard (I later learned this was a mistake after contractions began and all that dairy started making its way back up!). I felt a little queasy right after eating but figured I just ate too much sugar. We then strolled over the SummerDance in Grant Park - on of our favorite summer activities. That evening's performance was incredible reggae band (funny because we honeymooned in Jamaica and reggae will always remind me of what it felt like to be newly wedded to the love of my life). it was then that I started thinking something was happening. I was having contractions which were feeling much different that the Braxton Hick ones I'd been having for weeks. Normally, I'm on my feet dancing to the music at SummerDance but this time, I actually had to find a seat and sit down and concentrate through the contractions. We still were not 100 percent sure this was real labor since I'd had some false alarms before, but we decided I should probably get home and rest just in case, so we stayed for only one more song and then headed back.

I went to bed soon after we returned home but the contractions were keeping me quite uncomfortable and made sleep difficult. At this point, it felt like really bad menstrual cramps. Around 1 am, on July 10, I got out of bed because I couldn't stand ying down any longer. It was at this point that I knew it was the real deal. The contractions were getting very intense and coming quite regularly, less than 10 minutes apart. It was then that I told Mile "this is it." I remember we both delt a little panicked - lile we were suddenly not prepared for this even though we'd been preparing for months for the big day.

Mike suggested I take a hot shower to try to relieve some of the contraction discomfort while he started packing our bags. I agreed and attemped to get into our shower. Normally, I love a long hot shower but for some reason, I cout not stand the water this time. It almost seemed to intensify the pain for me. So after just a few minutes, I hobbled out of the shower and sat backwards on the toilet - one of the positions we had learned in our Bradley class. I was moaning at this point and starting to feel very nauseous. Mike bnrought fresh towels for me to rest my head on, and he helped me get back into my sweats. We couldn't believe this was really happening. In between helping me through the contractions, he was rushing around the house trying to get our bags packed and going through the Bradley checklist to make sure we had everything. It was probably around 2 - 2:30am at this point. We had been timing the contractions and they were coming about every 3 minutes, so I started to get nervous that we were getting close (little did I know I had another 10 hours in front of me!). Mile called the midwife - Amy was our gal on call that night and she was already at the hospital with another birth. She told us to try to labor at home a little longer.

I tried walking the house and having Mike put counter pressure on my back, I started to get weak and had to double over with each contraction to get through the pain. I remember wondering before the birth what a contraction would really feel like because so many people say It's impossible to describe.

After another hour, I told Mile we absolutely had to go to the hospital because I was convinced this baby was coming out soon. He called Amy again and told her we were coming. I remember him frantically trying to get the last of the supplies into the bag before we started making our way to the car. It was about 3:30am. It's funny the little details that remain vivid... like I remember after getting off the elevator in our condo lobby that we saw one of the maintenance crew deep cleaning the carpets. I was wadding like those typical pregnant ladies you see on TV... holding my belly and trying to breath deeply... and thinking "I wonder how many times he's seen pregnant couples in the middle of the night making their way to the hospital..."

The car ride to West Suburban was one of the "highlights" (or should I say lowlights?) of the labor. I was betn over the front seat facing backwards and moaning with each turn we took. As soon as we would accelerate, I would get a wave of nausea crashing over me. As we were flying down the highway, I kept telling Mile to pull over because I wated to puke. He told me to hold on, we were so close and that we would be there in no time. I didn't care - I wanted to throw up. As we were approaching the hospital, I couldn't take it anymore abd basically screamed that I was going to puke all over the car if we didn't pull over. Mile pulled over literally right in front of the hospital entrance where I threw open the car door and puked all over the street. Ah, sweet relief! For a fleeting moment, I felt like a million bucks. Until the next contraction began.

We then pulled up to the hospital's non-emergency entrance (which was technically closed byt we didn't want to deal with ER) where Mike dropped me off and hurriedly left to park the car. I made my way inside and started wandering the darkened halls trying to remember how to get to the maternity ward. I remember telling myself, "you can do this, you can find it, you're strong". After a few stops for contractions and after getting off a wrong elevator at one point, I eventually found my way to the maternity floor and checked myself in. The nurse took me to triage and started getting me set up. Mile joined me just minutes later with all of our bags. I walked the triage hall a few times while the nurse was getting our room set up, stopping to lean against the wall with each contraction and concentrating on slow, deep breaths in between.

I puked again in the triage room. Triage was the longest 20 minutes of the entire labor. They had me strip down to a hospital gown and strapped me to the fetal monitor and then proceeded to tell me they had to take my blood! Was this nurse crazy? I was contracting like mad and she wanted to attempt to stick a needle in me while making me lay still on a bed? I was uttelry annoyed. Amy, our midwife, was still attending another birth so we didn't get to see her right away and she had the nurse check my dilation instead. The nurse said I was about 5 centimeters dilated Iand I remember thinking "that's it?! I had thought I would be closer to a 7 or 8. Mike reminded me that it was halfway there. He kept saying "we're having a baby today!" to keep me motivated. He remembers how one of the other nurses said to him "you'll probably have this baby around noon today"... she turned out to be spot on.

After puking a few more times while strapped to the fetal monitor, they finally let us get settled into the alternative birthing suite. It's at this point that things start to get a little fuzzu for me. I know that I got out of that hospital gown as soon as I could, preferring to go butt-naked instead. We thought we might try the shower again, so I attempted to get in but once again -alomost as soon as the water started pouring out, I jumped out. I couldn't stand the shower for some reason. After this point, I started having some diarrhea along with the puking - my body was really clearing itself out for this special baby! Because of this, Mike was making extra sure to keep me hydrated. He wanted me to eat for energy but I couldn't stand the thought of food so I just kept chugging the liquids he would bring me - water, Gatored, juice, anything ice cold.

After checking into the birthing suite, we were left to labor on our own - which was excatly what we had wanted - but Mike remembers feeling a little nervous. We did have a lovely nurse who would check in on us from time to time and take my blood pressure and do the fetal heart check - all was always well. For hours, we tried all of the techniques we learned in our calss - counter pressure, walking, rocking, slow dancing. Finally we got to see Amy, our midwife, who was about as exhausted as we were because she had been up for 24 hours delivering babies. When she checked my dilation again, I think I was about a 6 or 7, which was frustrating because i was starting to feel like I'd been in labor forever. Amy helped us continue laboring for a while... I remember at one point I was sitting on the toilet getting through a set of contractions with my arms wrapped around Amy's midsection and my head buried in her stomach... I remember her stomach felt so nice and warm and soft and her voice so calming as she rubbed my back.

At one point -I'm not sure when- Mike left to make the phone calls to our family to notify them that babt was on the way and that they might want to plan to get to the hospital in the next few hours. Of course, my parents left for the hospital as soon as he called them! I also remember that Mike asked them to bring a few things with them - extra pillows, snacks, juice. When my parents arrived, I was in the throes of hard labor and they actually arrived at the door of our room. I screamed to the nurse and Mike -"no visitors!!"- as I really didn't want my parents to see me in that state (and I'm sure they wouldn't have wanted to either). They delivered the goods to the nurse who brought them in for us. My mom had delivered posicles - I remember they were the red, white and blue Bomb pos - and man, were those delicious and perfect for me at that point.

Amy eventually suggested that we might want to consider breaking my bag of water since it had not broken completely on its own yet - it was just coming out in dribbles. I told Mike that of all the things in our birth plan, breaking the waters was one of the things I was completely okay with doing even though we had originally wanted to let them break naturally. I was getting exhausted. I know I started whispering to Mike that I wasn't sure how much longer I could continue. He would always tell me that I could do it, that the baby was almost here, that I needed to keep fighting. i was started to go deep withing myself to get through each contraction since it was the only way I could handle the pain.

We tried a few other techniques to try to get the baby to moved down into place and help me open up further. Amy had us try the birthing ball. They covered it in those absorbent diaper things since by now I was bleeding pretty heavily and I straddled it while Amy and Mike helped me sway back forth on it.

It hurt to do so and I could only do it for a little while at the time without wanting to fall off the ball and pain.

Finally, I said I wanted Amy to break the waters to get this baby moving on out. She had me lay down on the bed - the mos uncomfortable position (how do women labor laying down? Insanity!) and stuck a small hook inside me I fet an immense pain with the breaking of the waters and a warm gush. After that, the contractions started to get even more intense. It was like a hot snearing pain in my mid-section.

I'm not sure how much longer we labored after she broke the water. By this point, the contractions were one on top of another. I was throwing up with each contraction because of the intensity but it burned each time because I was down to just the bile in my stomach. There was nothing left inside. Mike kept hydrating me, holding popsicles while I dould nibble or force down what i could. I know his touch became the most soothing thing for me. i don't remember anything he said through this stage though i do remember his voice being somethign of a rock for me. I think this was transition, the hardes part of labor. I recalled some of the tips from the Birthing from Within book about dealing with pain internalyl. I closed my mind to the pain and let myself drift throught it, letting my body do what it needed to do. I know I held on the sink counter in the bathroom many times because it felt sturdy and safe for some reason. I clung to Mik'es shoulders because they were home base. I know I was saying out loud that I couldnt go on anymore but inside, I knew I could do it and that I was getting close.

Eventually, Amy and Mike decided it was time to get me in the tub. Finally I knew we were geting close because the tub meant pushing would soon follow, or so we hoped. I was probably about 8 cm at this point. They filled the tub and helped me in. Unlike the shower - which petrified me - the tub was a godsend. As soon as I sunk into my shoulders, the warmth engulfing me helped me relax and let go of some of my tension. I just sat there floating. It was like the labor stopped for a while and I was able to renew some of my strength. The contractions felt much more manageable in the water. I closed my eyes and let go... falling into something of a sleep state.

The next thing I knew, Amy was checking my dilation again and tellming me I was 9 cm and a lip that I was okay to push! I couldn't believe it. I could finally get down to the business of pushing and getting this baby out. Mike was by my side, to the right, holding ont my shoulders. He was feeding me honey sticks, which Amy miraculously had in her pocket. What an amazing energy source. It was the only food I could keep down. She told me that with the next contraction, I should push like I was pooping. When I felt the contraction coming on, I close my eyes, bore down with all my might and let out this amazing groan. I couldn't believe I was hearing my own self make such a deep noise! We continued this rhythm for about an hour. I would rest in between contractions while Mike fed me the honey sticks and gave me sips of water. I was vocalizing very loudly. It helped tremendously to release all of the contraction pain with each push and each primal groan. I remember hearing a beat in my head - It was probably a headache pounding away! - but I used it as my own internal rhythm. It went something like: contraction coming, prepare, grab my legs, contraction peaking, grunt, push with all my might, release... breathe... rest... start again. It felt empowering and utterly exhausting all at the same time. Pushing felt better than just laboring through the contractions but it was tiring beyond belief.

The water was really helping me open up as was my pushing rhythm because Elise was "turtling" - her head pushing against the tissues and then going back inside - which was helping to stretch everything out gently. I know at one point I felt what they call the "ring of fire" - the burning sensation when the baby's head starts to get close. But the warm water really helped to dull that pain and I was able to musche through it. Mike was holding on to me tightly and encouraging me through each push. I remember hearing Amy and the nrse yelling "you're getting close, baby's almost here!" during a couple of pushes. I was completely inside my self at this point, using every last ounce I had to get my baby out. My one regret is that because I was so internally focused at this point, I had my eyes close the entire time and I missed actually watching most of the action!, But I certainly felt it! Amy told me I could reach down and feel the baby's head which I did - It felt so wierd - soft and squishy.

Finally, when I thought I couldn't push anymore, I gave it my all - and after a few major pushes that must have been heard down the hallway - our baby made her entrance. I can say that the few seconds when the baby finally comes out are the most miraculous of all because you can actually feel that baby that's been inside you for so long leaving your body. It's an immense reliefe - the pain that you've been feeling them on the outside instead of the inside.

Mike was right by my side, holding me when Amy place our little creation on my chest. I looked at the baby and up at Mike through my tears. We were both crying. I completely forgot that we didn't know the baby's gender! And here's the part we always laugh about. I opened the baby's legs and peerd down and through my tears, all I saw was this little lump that I assummed was a penis so I yelled "It's a boy!" and Mike looked over at the nurse and exclaimed "It's a boy" but then Amy stopped us and said "you might want to look again". Sure enough I looked closer... what I was seeing was not a penis but the umbilical cord! So I yelled "It's a girl!" and turned to Mike who turned to the nurse and yelled "It's a girl" We couldn't believe our precious little lady was here with us.

What I remember most about Elise in her first few seconds of life on the outside were her big black eyes. She came out of the womb quietly and gently, gave one tiny little "eh" cry and then opened her eyes and looked up at me as she was laying snuggled warm against my chest in the water. And then she just proceeded to look around quietly, as if taking in her new surroindings. She hardly made a sound, just staring with her big beautiful eyes at me, at Mike at everything around her. It was amazing.